The Absence of Solitude

Missing

It's my Grandma's birthday. She would have been 94 today. The picture below is the only picture I have of the two of us. There might be more, I just don't have them. Anyway, usually May 18th comes and goes without much thought of Grandma. I don't have many memories of her, as I was really young when she passed away but for some reason she has been a lingering thought in my mind all week. I keep feeling like I got a little jipped in the whole grandma department. She died before I got to know her and and my dad's mom passed away before my parents were even married. So really, I grew up without a grandma. And today I don't think that's very fair!

 I wish I could know what her laugh sounded like when this picture was taken.

I miss them even though I don't know them because:

I see the relationships my children have with both of their grandmothers and I wish I had had that when I was little and even now.

I wish that they could have been there at all the momentous events in my life like my baptism, my high school graduation, my wedding, and loving on their new great-grandchild.

I wish I could sit across from them at the table and listen to them tell stories of their life.

I wish I could have stood next to them in the kitchen as they canned and preserved food every summer.

I wish I could have learned so much from them; the things every grandmother teaches their granddaughter.

I just wish they could have been here to do all the things I know they would have done as grandmas.

 

I miss them the most because I just feel like I missed out on a having that bond between a grandmother and granddaughter. Even though I am crying over this right now, I know that they probably feel the same way about missing out on so much here on earth. But they both know that we have eternity to re-establish these relationships and I can only hope that we can make up for this little bit of lost time. I just have to feel them close through my parents and the stories they share. I really do have a legacy of wonderful women to follow.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Tree Trimming

We decorated the Christmas tree the weekend of Thanksgiving. As I was looking through the pictures I took, I noticed this one of Jillian:

 And immediately this picture of Lauren at nearly the same age popped into my mind:

 
It's one of those instances when I realized I really need to label my pictures. Years down the road I probably wouldn't be able to tell which one is Jillian and which one is Lauren.

Jillian has probably been the worst out of all the kids about getting into the tree. The others were fascinated by it for the first couple of days and then pretty much left it alone. Not Jillian. The bottom of the tree is almost devoid of ornaments right now. She doesn't throw them or break them; she just takes them off and then brings them to me. But she leaves it alone if the lights are not turned on so we only turn the lights on in the evening right now.

We have a fun busy weekend ahead...enjoy yours!

Did your mother

ever take you to a bread thrift store? Mine did. I used to love to go with her to the Mrs. Baird's bread store. Mom would stock up on bread, some for use right away but most went in the freezer. I loved the smell of all the bread and mostly I loved that I got to pick out a treat like Twinkies or Ding-Dongs. I especially loved the vanilla cupcakes. (Maybe this is why I am addicted to bread and sweets;)

The reason I bring this up is because in exploring this area of the city, we happened upon our very own bread thrift store. I thought of my memories going there as a child and so I have taken the kids a couple of times and just like I did, they love to pick out a treat. Ethan likes the Swiss Roll, Lauren likes the gingerbread cookies, and Simon likes, well, whatever he can get his hands on! And now I love that I can get the bread I usually buy for 40% off the normal price! Sweet memories for me and now my children will have a very similar one.

Christmas Past

This weekend I took the kids to the children's museum and as we turned a corner, there was a huge Barbie display. Lauren and I 'oohed and ahhed' as we looked at all the different ones. Then I saw them and I nearly started crying. People seriously, I nearly shed a few tears over Barbie. But not just any Barbie, it was Barbie and The Rockers!!

Here they are in all their glory! Aren't they wonderful!?! Oh, how I wished they had the stage and tour bus to go with them!

I received these Barbies, the stage, and the tour bus (which in my memory was huge) for Christmas over twenty years ago (1986). I think that was probably my favorite Christmas. I was so excited to get the whole set. I remember shopping with my Aunt Helen and she had the tour bus in her shopping cart and I asked her if it was for Shannon and she said no; she was buying it to donate to a giving tree or something. Little did I know that my mom had been looking for the bus and couldn't find one and so she had family and friends on the lookout and Aunt Helen just happened to find one while I was with her. It was so wonderful to wake up that Christmas morning and see the stage set up with all the Rockers standing on it and the big purple tour bus right next to it... the best feeling as a little kid!

When I was telling Lauren that I had those Barbies she asked where they were and I sadly had to say that I sold them in a garage sale years ago. She got a sad look on her face and said, "But Mom, why didn't you keep them in case you had a little girl like me to play with them one day?" Such a GOOD QUESTION! Oh, Barbie and The Rockers, I love you so!

I hope my children have have a Christmas memory like this one day. Do you have one?

Happy Father's Day

I love this picture of my dad below. I think it kind of shows the solitude and quietness that he possesses. For today's special occasion, I thought I would list a few things that I think of when I think about my dad.

My dad has never been one of many words. Though you can usually tell what he is thinking by his facial expressions. I laugh when he answers the phone and quickly says, "Here's Mom." He may not be one of many words but he will listen and give advice when you need it.

Dad has a great sense of humor. As Jenny reminded me earlier this week, he thought it was funny to come pick us up from school with the windows rolled down, the radio blaring, and his ears tucked under his hat.

He loves to read. When we wonder where Dad is, we often joke that he has gone to his cave to read.

He is knowledgeable of the scriptures and gospel topics. I always went to my dad when I had a question spiritual in nature (and I still do sometimes).

He loves his mother dearly. I love to get him talking about his mom. I learn new things about her each time she is brought up in conversation and I can tell how important that relationship was in his younger years.

He sacrificed a lot for his kids and is a hard worker. I never went without and appreciate all he did for us growing up. He taught us all the benefits and responsibility of hard work.

Dad is the jokester and the disciplinarian in our house and that is no easy task to pull off. I remember Dad starting a huge egg fight one night, something I don't know that I would ever allow to happen. We had a blast though. I have also never seen my dad so upset with me more than the time I lied to him about where I was going and Jenny told on me. I denied it, talked back, and was rightly punished.

Most importantly, Dad loves my mom and his family. I think Dad has been a great example to us regarding how to treat and respect women by the way he treats our mom. Dad loves us all so much and would do anything in his power to help us in any way.

           

Happy Father's Day, Dad! I love you so much and thank you a million times over for all you do for us.

Homestyle Cafe's Ranger Cookies

Okay a little background to this post:

In the town I grew up in there was a little sandwich shop called Homestyle Cafe that opened when I was in high school. It suddenly closed when I was a sophomore in college. I was so disappointed! I absolutely LOVED this place. I could eat there everyday and if I remember correctly, my friend Chrissie and I took a challenge to eat there everyday for lunch for an entire week. We did and I never got sick of the place. The had such good sandwiches, soups, and cookies. When I would come home on the weekends from college I always stopped there to get a dozen (or two) cookies to take back. Their chocolate chip ones were a hit with most but I particularly liked ones they called Ranger Cookies.

Fast forward to last week:

I was browsing the internet for new recipes and found a blog called Mennonite Girls Can Cook. It has tons of yummy looking recipes so of course I start scrolling through the pages. I came to one titled, "Ranger Cookies" and saw the accompanying picture and it was a like a flood of memories came rushing back. I hadn't thought about Homestyle Cafe in YEARS! And suddenly I could smell and taste the cookie I remembered from Homestyle. I most certainly had to try this recipe to see if it was indeed that same cookie. I had some doubts since it had rice krispies in it and I didn't remember the Homestyle version having anything like that in it.

Monday afternoon I made a batch and I am in love again! They are indeed the same ones I used to get so often. Be still my heart. Now if I could just find a recipe for a sandwich bread similar to theirs and I could have my own personal Homestyle Cafe!

So if you remember Homestyle Cafe and loved this cookie too, here is the recipe. Even if you have no idea about Homestyle Cafe, go make these. You might just have a new favorite cookie.

                                   

Ranger Cookies

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 cups oatmeal
• 1 cup shredded coconut
• 1 cup rice krispies

1. Cream butter and sugar
2. Add eggs and blend well; Add vanilla
3. Add flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Mix well.
4. Mix in remaining ingredients and stir until well blended.

Drop spoonfuls onto cookie sheet and bake at 350 for about 10 to 12 minutes.

**I kind of flattened mine when I put them on the cookie sheet. I only cooked mine for about 9 minutes. So maybe start with that and then bake longer if needed. Make sure you take them out before you think they are actually done; when the edges are browned a bit. If you overcook them they will be extremely crunchy and you want them to be chewy. **

Please enjoy!!

'round yon virgin

Is there something from your childhood that happened to you and it wasn't until years later you realized how utterly embarrassing it was for you? Well, I do and it's something I think about without meaning to every time I sing Silent Night. I know I should be thinking about Christ and his birth while singing it and I do...after I get a little chuckle from this mishap.

When I was in the fourth grade we were practicing Silent Night in music class. After we finished singing it I raised my hand to ask a question. Mrs. Crowder called on me and I innocently asked, "Mrs. Crowder, what is a virgin?"  She stammered and half the class was giggling and the other half also wanted the answer. She simply said, "Why don't you see me after class."

Well, I thought I would get an answer for sure but all she said was, "I really think you need to ask your mother what that means." Thanks a lot for nothing...I didn't go home and ask my mom.

I really didn't think anything of it as a fourth grader. It wasn't until years later when I was singing Silent Night once that I even remembered asking this question in front of the entire class. It just jogged my memory for some strange reason. I wasn't embarrassed when I asked the question; it was an honest question from a naive fourth grader. But looking back, I am now embarrassed not only for me but for my poor teacher who didn't quite know how to answer that question to a room full of ten year olds.

A Week of Halloween: Day 5

Halloween 1995

 

        Sarah----Shelly

I hope you don't mind I posted this, Sarah. ;-) This was our senior year and to be honest I don't really remember why we dressed up and where we were going. I don't think we went trick-or treating or did we, Sarah? This picture is what actually inspired the 'week of Halloween' pictures. I found it the other day while sorting through stuff in preparation for the move and just had to laugh. Isn't Halloween fun?

 

Sarah, I hope you comment and shed a little more light on this photo.     

A Week of Halloween: Day 4

Halloween 1986

 

               Bill-----Leigh-----Shelly-----Jenny 

A Week of Halloween: Day 3

Halloween 2001

Ethan's first Halloween. A lion roaring.