The Absence of Solitude

Mmm...Smells like?

Saturday morning I got up before everyone else and started breakfast. I turned the oven on to preheat while I made the biscuits. Just as I was about to roll and cut them, I realized there was a really strange smell in the house. At first, it didn't dawn on me to look in the oven but when I did, this is part of what I found:

(Imagine the rack in the oven and turned upside down and dripping on the bottom of the oven.)

Any guesses on what that might be and who might have put it in the oven?

Yes, of course. Simon.

And that would be a small tupperware bowl with plastic play food. There was also a play-doh utensil/tool with play-doh in it. "He was just pretending he was cooking his food," Lauren said. Well, it got cooked for real!

Needless to say, as soon as I turned the oven off the plastic started to harden again. It took melting it again and cutting it to get it all off.

By the time the biscuits finally went in the oven, everyone was up and getting a little impatient for breakfast.

So note to self: Look in the oven before turning it on. I think my sister might have given herself the same advice last year when something similar happened to her.

 

T.G.I.F.

Oh, I can't say that enough today because I have felt like this most of the week:

 Simon and Lauren have been sick with strep throat.

Ethan had a stomach virus.

Jillian is teething.

Our rental is on the market and we have had four showings this week.

And then add in all the everyday activities...cooking, cleaning, caring for little ones, exercising, errands, grocery shopping, homework, scouts, Battle of the Books, etc.

To say the very least, I am so glad that Allen gets back in town today and that I can regain some sanity this weekend!

jinx

I totally jinxed myself last week. I was talking to some ladies at church about a little boy who just had his tonsils out. We ended up talking about sicknesses our family has had lately and...

I said, "Yeah, I was certain when I put Ethan in school that we would get a flood of sickness in the house since we weren't really sick at all while homeschooling. I just knew all the germs would be coming our way. We used to always get the 24 hour stomach virus around Christmas and someone always seemed to have a runny nose."

Then one of the ladies said, "Oh, knock on some wood!"

I didn't.

Simon started with a cough last Friday.

Over the weekend three of us had the 24 hour stomach virus.

Jillian started with a cough on Tuesday. Simon got a runny nose. Lauren started a cough, fever and runny nose on Wednesday.

I took Simon and Jillian to previously scheduled check-ups on Thursday. I told the doctor I just wanted to just to check-ups and no vaccinations until they were both feeling better. Ok. No Problem. She proceeded to do them and discovered Simon had an ear infection and she did an RSV test on Jillian because of the way her cough sounded. I told her I felt like an awesome mom for bringing in two kids for check-ups and they both ended up being sick with more than just a runny nose and really should have been there anyway.

Jillian's test came back positive for RSV  (note the risks: having school age siblings) this morning, which just makes me feel like an even more awesome mom! I guess she won't be going anywhere until spring. We are just praying it doesn't get much worse and we don't have to do the breathing treatments.

So after I went to the store and spent a small fortune on a humidifier, vitamins, vitamin D supplements for all the kids (because they are not getting enough), antibiotics for Simon, vapor rub and bath gel, cough medicine for Lauren, and saline nasal spray for Jillian, we are looking forward to spending the weekend recovering.

Next time, I will knock on wood. Or better yet, just keep my mouth shut all together!

I would like to note that my son in school has not been sick at all. Maybe I should delete that note...

anger management

Lauren was mad at me and Allen the other day because we wouldn't let her do something she wanted. After she started screaming and yelling at us, she was sent to her room until she could calm down. Later sher came down with a picture for me and said she drew it because she loved me. Oh, how sweet, I thought.

A few hours passed I went in her room to put some clothes away and found this on her desk:

                    

That is a picture of me and Allen and our names crossed out. When I asked her about it she said she was just so mad at us and didn't like us so she x-ed us out of her picture. She said she knew it wasn't nice and that's why she didn't give it to me.

Can I count drawing her frustrations out on paper as anger management or does she really need some help?

the witching hours

Yesterday was a busy day and I didn't even get the pumpkin farm pictures loaded onto the computer. It will have to wait until later. I did however get one costume finished! But I didn't get it done until after the 'witching hours.' 

You know, the hours between dinner and bed when all hell seems like it is about to break loose and the kids are becoming little demons. I like to call those the witching hours. This is the typical rundown of our witching hours and sometimes it feels magnified ten times over if Allen is out of town...I am trying to make dinner, the kids are getting hungry and cranky, and Simon wants to be held and so now I am cooking dinner with a baby in one arm. Then Lauren and Ethan get in an argument and the crying ensues and if I am really lucky I will also have the pleasure of hearing nice high pitched shrills from Lauren. It's at this point I start watching the clock. Dang. It's only 4:50. They are still going to be up for another two hours.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to add that the phone is ringing off the hook and my mother-in-law stopped by to see how things are going. I don't have time for this!

We sit down for dinner. Of course I hear, "I don't like this," and "Mommy, what is this?" and "MOM. Lauren is kicking me under the table," and "How much more do I have to eat?" and "If I eat this can I have a dessert?"  It's never-ending. Simon is growling because I am not feeding him fast enough. We come close to a couple of meltdowns but we get through it.

Dinner is finished and now it's time for baths and that starts another argument over who gets to take one first. Ethan is sent to the other bathroom so they can take them at the same time. Finally everyone is bathed and once again if I am lucky, Lauren and I disagree over what pajamas to wear and instead of arguing, she gets her way and wears jeans and a t-shirt. I don't care. Whatever. I look at the clock again and it's only 6:30. One more hour to go. 

We go to the living room to read books and once again the shrills start because Ethan in sitting in Lauren's spot and Lauren got to have her book read first last night and IT's NOT FAIR, MOM! This is where I want to say, "Well, tough. Life's not fair." But I don't. Books are read and now it's off to bed. It's 7:10 and they are in bed and just need to say prayers and get goodnight kisses. Oh, wait. Now they need a drink and of course need to go to the bathroom. So back to bed and Lauren is mad over who knows what. I ask her to say her prayers and she doesn't want to but after a little encouragement she does. I always love a grumpy prayer. Ethan prays that Lauren will be nicer to him. "Goodnight. I love you." Whew! It's 7:30 and I am done for the day.

Until I hear footsteps coming down the hall because one of them, usually Lauren, needs to tell me just one more thing.

Some days I try to remember:

That these are the longest days but the shortest years.

That I need to take more pleasure in dinner, bath, books, and bed.

That we have had a long day and everyone is just tired and hungry.

Yet sometimes I just need them to get to bed so I can have a some peace and quiet. I know that is completely selfish but it's true and I am sure I am not the only mother that has ever counted down the hours until bedtime and the end of the witching hours.

 

pet peeve

Why is it so hard to find a good baby-sitter? I started baby-sitting when I was about eleven and I was a dang good baby-sitter. Jenny (who is my younger sister) and I were once entrusted with baby-sitting four children under the age of five and a three week old baby. We were eleven and ten! Yes, our mom was around the corner and we did call her to come calm the baby but we did it. And we did it again and again! I can't find a sitter that age (not that I want to) or older that I really love as a baby-sitter. When I was YW president there were only a few girls I would even consider asking to baby-sit and out of those few that did, even fewer were asked to baby-sit again. The one girl we get quite often is still lacking in some baby-sitting skills.

I was taught to play with the kids, change diapers, clean up dinner, and leave the house in overall good shape. Why is it that every time I get a sitter I have to come home and clean house? Here are just a few experiences of bad baby-sitters we have had:

1. Kids were at a friend's house being watched and I came back to find a cat nip toy on the tray of the exer-saucer. It was nice and wet so I am sure my child had it in his mouth.
2. When I asked my kids what they did while I was gone, they listed off the three movies they watched.
3. I have had AOL Instant Messenger downloaded on my computer while away. The computer was not on when we left and she was there in the middle of the day. It wasn't like she did it after the kids went to bed.
4. Dinner, dishes and trash all over the kitchen.
5. Every single puzzle we own was dumped out on the living room floor and we have a lot of puzzles. It wasn't fun.
6. Came home late and found the house pretty much destroyed. The kids had been in bed for over three hours and she was watching a movie. Couldn't she have at least tried to pick up? Is it really too much to ask? This same girl left a brand new gallon of milk on the counter at one of my friend's when she baby-sat her kids. It was warm when she got home. She was not impressed either.
7. Simon's diaper half-way on. Not cool.
8. Just plain not showing up. I gave her a second chance and she did the same thing.
9. Realizing while doing the dishes and cleaning up after the baby-sitter leaves that my kids had ice cream, popcorn, animal crackers, Capri suns, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs, and gum while I was gone. Yeah, Lauren threw up that night. Yes, I do have these items in my house but I don't give them to my kids all at the same time or even with in a short time span. Geez!
10. Driving down the street and see the kids outside riding bikes when I specifically asked the baby-sitter not to take them in the front yard. They could go in the back yard to play but no riding bikes in the front. I was not happy.

Ok so these are just a few. I am cursed with crappy baby-sitters or what? I just don't get it. Is it that these girls don't have any responsibility at home and don't know how to do anything? I don't know but it is really starting to get on my nerves. Then again, maybe these things wouldn't bother other people and I am just being too picky and uptight. But you know what? I can be picky because I am asking them to watch my kids. So if your daughter wants to baby sit, teach her some basic baby-sitting skills or take her to a baby-sitting class for heaven's sake, cause I need a break every once in awhile and would like a good baby-sitter. Dang it!

Rant over!

I hate glitter

                                

I was trying to be a good mom and let my kids get a little creative last week. We made flags to celebrate Independence Day. Lauren and I made one with tissue paper and Ethan made one with glitter. I NEVER get the glitter out because it is such a mess, but I decided to let him give it a try. (I decided to do this after reading parts of a book called The Creative Family. The author encourages you to forget about the mess and just let kids be kids so they can create. And the funny thing is, I read a blog post not too long ago about a lady who finally let her kids use glitter and she was so glad she did it. Me, not so much.)

He dumped the entire bottle out on the first two stripes and then didn't have much left to finish the rest of them. Ok, no problem. He figured out the best way to use it and didn't end up not making too much a of a mess with it. Way to go Ethan.

Enter Lauren...When she saw the glitter, her eyes lit up. She couldn't stop talking about the sparkles. She wanted to have a sparkly picture like Ethan. The next day, after much whining..."I want sparkles mom. PLEEEEASE!!!!"...I gave up. She got paper and glue and I let her have the glitter. She also dumped a whole bottle. She then decided to draw in it with her fingers. It was everywhere but on the glue.

                                

Here's the problem with glitter: You can never clean it ALL up. There are traces of it still lingering in the house. Just yesterday I found a speck on Simon's cheek and when I was giving Lauren a bath, there was some on her eyelid. I hate it...Sure the kids had fun with it and of course, they absolutely love it but I hate it! That's my story and I am sticking to it!!!

                                     

So word to the wise: Keep the glitter in the closet on the top shelf. They will never know you have it!

bed time and nap time and bed time and nap time

Now re-read the title in your head while humming the tune of "My Favorite Things." While at Time Out for Women, the presenters all introduced themselves and Hilary Weeks told us she had put her favorite things into that song and would sing it for us so we could learn a little more about her. Well, she has four children and "bed time and nap time and bed time and nap time" are her favorite things.

I have said before that I think moms tend to gloss things over, when we really need to be honest and know that we all have some bad days. This post is just an example of that. I am just putting it all out there. Yesterday, well actually, all week bed time and nap time have also been my favorite things. I went to Time Out for Women and was committed to re-focusing my attentions to being a better mother and then...I came home. Allen flew to Atlanta for business before I got home on Sunday so I have been single parenting all week. It has just been one of those weeks. I was immediately met with a whining Lauren and a persistent Ethan. Somehow I slipped right back to where I was before I left. What's the saying, "The road to hell is paved with the best intentions." I am going to straight to hell then because I always intend to do better, but never quite get there.

I have had that little tune in my head all week because by 9:30 a.m. I am counting down to nap time and by 4 p.m. I am counting down to bed time. Yesterday was the worst, though. Lauren was just on one and was driving me up the wall. She tries to wake Simon up every time I get him to sleep. She had some really bad temper tantrums over the silliest things. Sometimes I wonder if the neighbors can hear her tantrums because if they can, they probably wonder what the heck is going on in our house. SHE IS SO LOUD!!! I don't really know why I bother cleaning. Within an hour of me vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping, Lauren had spilled a plate of spaghetti on the dining room floor, Simon had spit up on the carpet and the kitchen floor, and Ethan tracked in grass. It was so frustrating. Ethan got in trouble at school again (no knives, just talking) twice this week but came home wanting to order books from the class book order. I told him no because I will not reward bad behavior. He got really upset and was trying to convince me all afternoon that he would do better in school if I let him order books. My niece needed me to help her sew a dress for her sports banquet this weekend (Well actually, she needed me to do the whole thing.) and my mother-in-law wanted me to help her get her garage sale stuff organized. By bed time, I was done. I was tired and extremely frustrated with myself for not doing better. After we read stories and they were asleep, I just had to sit and reflect on my day. I felt so guilty because I know I can do better. I want to do better. But how do I get there? Ugh!

This was a major vent, but you know what? It feels better to just get it all out there. I know people can relate and there is no sense in trying to portray a perfect little life, cause I have my days where my kids are going to drive me insane and all I can think about is bed time and nap time.

no more toys

Thursday morning I awoke to the joyful sound of Lauren and Ethan fighting. Lauren had taken all the stuffed animals in the house out to the living room on Wednesday evening to play. Evidently right before bed, Ethan went out there and took the ones he thought were his and put them in his room. Well, when Lauren saw them missing in the morning and found them on Ethan's bed, she got mad. That's when I woke up. (And no, I was not sleeping in while my kids were awake. I thought they were still asleep seeing that it was only about 6 a.m. and the arguing was the first noise I heard.) 

They kept fighting even though I asked them to please stop. I told them that they could share the animals, but the "It's mine. Not his," and the "No, it's not," just kept coming out of their mouths. Now like I said, it was pretty darn early in the morning and I was really not happy to be woken up by fighting children. I told them if they fought over one more toy I would get a trash bag and take them all away so they would have nothing to fight over. I kid you not, not even two minutes later, they started fighting over something again. I immediately got a trash bag and thought, "Forget the threat. I am actually going to do it." Of course, screaming, crying, and apologizing started as soon as I got the trash bag but I followed through. I put every single toy we own in a trash bag. I have nearly four bags of toys in my room right now. I don't know how long I am going to keep them. But you know what? The fighting stopped. Now whether that's because there is nothing to fight over or they are afraid of what else I might throw away remains to be seen. Right now their only options are books, blocks, puzzles and games. I do have to say they spent the entire afternoon in the backyard playing NICE!  Maybe I will just keep the toys indefinitely!

This was me today

Elastigirl.(Minus the super skinny waist, of course.) Today was just one of those crazy days. I felt like I was getting pulled in a million different directions. "Mom, can you help with this? Mom, Simon is crying. Make him stop. Mama, Ethan said I couldn't play with him. Mommy, Lauren tried to bite me. Mom, can you get me snack?"  All day long it was Mommy, Mom, Mama...I need you to play, read, help me, wipe me, change me, feed me...don't do this, don't do that. And I know I am a stay-at-home mom and that is what it should be like everyday, but today I just never got a break. I am not going to lie. I started counting down to bedtime at 5 p.m. They were all asleep by 7 p.m. and I was able to get some things done around the house and relax for a little while.

Lauren woke Simon up every single time he was asleep today so he was a bit on the cranky side and Lauren was pretty defiant today. At one point today after being particularly frustrated with Lauren she said to me, "Mommy are you happy? You don't look happy." I said, "No, I am not really happy right now," and she said, " Let me give you a hug. That will make you happy. OK?"  It put things in perspective a little.

On the way home from the grocery store, Lauren was whining because she put her quarter in the cup holder and then couldn't reach it while sitting in her car seat. She wanted me to get it for her. I had to tell her I couldn't reach it either because I was driving and my arms were not long enough to reach to the back seat. As soon as I said that, this image of Elastigirl popped into my head. I thought it was perfect. It is exactly what I felt like. I loved how the super power for the mom in The Incredibles is to stretch. Perfect for moms being pulled in a different directions!